How To Be Haunted

When we are beginning we must be very quiet. The sound of our breath must fill our ears. We must wait until we hear our own hearts and the stillness begins to move like waves through us, deep down the roll of our breath through our belly settles the stillness further in. 

When we are tired and the house is very quiet. 

When the day is buzzing with cicada or some other summertime insect quiets us with vibration.

When we have cried for many hours

When we are looking through something for a long time, rocks or plants especially.

When there is nothing to eat.

When we have been yelled at by someone we love.

When the sky 

When the storm

When the rain

Whenever we forget ourselves. When we try to forget ourselves. When we need to forget ourselves. 

We find that lying flat on our backs is best. The weight of the body and the gravity of the world collude to make the stillness successfully open up to the realm of the spirit. 

How To Lucid Dream

We know the tricks, they are told in all sorts of guidebooks to the thing. 

But if you want to lucid dream with total freedom, with remarkable and unending imagination and creative liberty, become the seed. Become ripe in the dark. 

When I became a master of lucid dreaming it was the collision of a variety of factors. I was pregnant for the second time and living in a house built to echo the shape of a pagoda. The house sat under a strange mountain on the south facing slope looking out to the south east and the moonrise would bellow out its luminous entreaty to me every evening. Dream dreamer dream. 

How To Be In A Body (consciousness of death)

You are not a MACHINE

You Are an animal- walking upright, a primate of extraordinary ability and skill.

You changed the way you moved, you got up from all fours- why? Why? Did you want to stand up?

The hips stabilized the upper body- your muscles grew strong

Mobility changes everything. You are in motion, you are an animal in motion.

An animal among animals. Hunting, running- your ass grows, the gluteus Maximus fires pulling your trunk upright you will not fall, your pelvis opens up to make space for the large muscles of your ass, this is the shift that brings us into the regime of fire, with hands we can make tools, tools to gather fire. 

Running, we are running.  We are learning to hunt, we are standing up, making tools, thinking about the tool, making a tool to hunt, making a tool to make fire, making a fire.

Animal that makes fire, animal that runs, makes tools, animal that adapts and changes, animal among animals, among plants, among rocks, among rivers.

Survive better. Mutate. Divide, mutate. Survival, survive better. Sweat. Run. The skin is your largest organ, the running makes you sweat, cool down, cool down. 

Run. And in the caves of your ancestors meeting the neanderthal \ AMY1 mutatation amylase 

Glucose, starch, eating plants, and now you think you are a farmer. Your brain seeks glucose, you can digest starch, you are an animal planting, rice, rice. Your big brain animal needs glucose, you plant rice, you make a celebration. You are an animal, you are a farmer.

The paradox of farmer is that you became less healthy than when you ran and hunted, gathered and walked.

The paradox is survival of more but not better.

But it will be fire. Fire will be your end.

We are the asteroid. 

We are uncanny beings, strangely strange all the way down. Disturbed at every turn. Haunted. 

Sagging, going out of shape- an abject move. Creepiness

Anmial living with animals- extinctions trace the outline of your bones, teeth, buried and unearthed. Find me animal.

Extracellular matrix, from animal to animal- grow. Rebuild, regenerate. Animal to animal.

To animal to cyborg, to animal 

Evolve into extinction. Evolve. Environment is changing too rapidly. You dream yourself outside it, but it is inside you. It is inside you.

You are world animal. 

Comfort wants you dead.

Bleed more. 

This place is now drifting towards it million billion trillion apolcolaypses.

Running through scales, forms, speeds, densities, temperature, liquidity, gaseousness.

Are we rich yet? 

Are you rich?

Where in your body do you currently keep it? 

Let you mind follow your breath, down, down, down. Into the the tips of your terrible rotten toes, dream you are falling and this is a terrible time- don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid of reckoning with that. Huh, huh, huh now, don’t be afraid.

Look at the loose way we play with annihilation.

The half life of Uranium.